Thank you if you have read part 1+2, in this final part I am going to talk about what went on behind the scenes during the build up, the challenge and on our return.

The question I was asked most in the build up to going was definitely How did you end up involved in this? So I guess that’s a good place to start. In July 2018 I was sitting in a national conference wondering how the hell all this information I was being bombarded with was going to help my stuttering business and my mind was caught by a nice lady called Juliette from Wooden Spoon, a children’s charity who raise huge amount of money mostly through rugby and were there to thank us for their fundraising that year.

As Jules went on she described the amazing projects the money had gone to and showed us the children it was helping. That’s nice I thought. I hadn’t been part of the team who had raised the money as I’d just started my business and thought it would have been too much to deal with when they did their charity bike ride. I have participated in many charity events previously but this was their achievement and I was pleased for those who contributed but as the thank yous were dealt out I wasn’t part of it.

The presentation was then wrapped up with the showing of a video explaining their next big challenge, to play the highest ever game of rugby on EVEREST! As soon as I heard that I was in! My life ambition was to go to the North Pole but as they had already done that, I thought Everest was the next best thing. Immediately after the video I, along with several others, added our name to the “interested list”.

With only a tiny bit of information to fuel my wild dream (ask my wife, I get a few of these from time to time) I contemplated what it would be like to climb the biggest mountain in the world and be a world record holder (I also dreamt about being a world record holder as a young boy but I could never get my 100m time low enough to continue that dream). That evening I told Amelie about it and she rolled her eyes and nodded as I told her the plan. A few weeks later she gave me the go ahead to go. I think she was too distracted by our wedding plans that were fast approaching to really consider what I was proposing. With the deposit paid, I was locked in to going, and I had no idea how I was going to fund it!

As the weeks and months ticked by, I was caught in cross fire from everything. Although I had the support and stability of my family, work was getting stressful and the fundraising was slow. For about 6 months I was lost in both and the worry from one led to worries in the other.

As Christmas approached, I was seriously contemplating wrapping up my business and distracted myself by looking into the legal side of what to do. During this time I was still delivering my classes but they did not have the same vibe as before and that showed in the returning numbers every rebooking period. I dreaded opening an email from a current attendee as the inevitable “we have decided to stop attending” start to the message would be coming in to often.

With the pressure building I was becoming harder to live with at home, I would be in constant arguments with both Amelie and Ivy which had never happened before. I have never been good at discussion and felt work was my problem to fix. It was not their fault that I was hiding the problem but in my head I got frustrated with so many petty things. I hate arguing (I’m not good at it which is probably a good thing) and I would remove myself rather than saying what the problem was.

On the outside of all this was still this little light of Everest. Money was starting to come in and promises of support kept my spirit up, although I later found out the hard way that you can not bank promises! A training weekend in the Lakes introduced me to my team mates and my new found love of trekking and the official team announcement gave me so much motivation to see it through. I was getting to know the people I would be “going into battle with” and was building some good relationships at this early stage. The meet ups and planning was a great distraction from reality.

With the deadline from Adventure Peaks (our guides for the challenge) approached, I was suddenly looking for a lot of money to pay for my part of the trip. I got extremely lucky when a conversation with a parent in one of my classes led to a significant sponsorship arrangement that meant I was able to go! I will forever be grateful to Phil from Agile network solutions for their support (Phil’s son suffers from a serious illness, an illness you would never knew he has if you see him). Although this was a fantastically generous contribution to my involvement, it added more pressure. If I couldn’t get the sponsorship for the charity then it would be wasted!

With all this going around my head like a tornado, I started looking into what the charity does, I had used phrases from their website and more that sounded good but it wasn’t until I really focused on the goodness they give to children (another distraction from the real world) that I really started to believe this was not just about me “having a jolly”. Things started to tie into my everyday life that showed me how this was too important to let these children down.

My daughter Ivy was having big problems at school and was diagnosed with Selective mutism. We were very fortunate that we were able to seek help and with help from family we were able to financially and emotionally over come this and she has had a big turn around since. Reading more into this I quickly found that we were very fortunate to get the support from the professionals and her school that so many others can not get. This also highlighted, like so many other illnesses and developmental issues that children face, effect so many children in so many different ways. What works for one does not mean it will work for others for so many different reasons.

I deliver a rugby class to children at a SEN nursery and seeing the support they receive is amazing to see but it doesn’t stop there. Behind every child is a heartbroken parent trying to do anything to help their child.

With the build up intensifying, my mind was focused on fundraising and planning for Everest. However I would get brought back to Earth daily with problems with work. A parent leaving you classes, a venue asking for payment, bills not going out, the lights breaking at home, the list was growing.

With this still fresh in my mind I boarded a plane heading east (I will not bore you again with what happened on Everest as that was part 1+2) with a belief I was doing the right thing. However, it felt like I lit a fire and run. Luckily most of the parents who attend my classes with their children understood my decisions but again, I took the negative feedback to heart more than the ones that wished me well.

As I described in the previous parts, the whole Everest Rugby Challenge was amazing. It truly changed my life. I was having experiences like I could not have dreamed of and things could not have felt better, I’d call home everyday and I loved seeing Amelie and Ivy’s faces and especially Ivy’s joys of telling me about what was going on back home (she barely remembers anything of her day when I pick her up from school).

But my worst decision of the whole trip was taking my iPad. This meant I could track emails from work. Although I had the very generous support to man the phone and emails, I still saw what was coming in. Most issues went in and out but it all came to a head when I spoke to Amelie from my tent at Base Camp (don’t you just love technology!!!). While Jason was the comms of my business, Amelie was instructed to pay people while I was away. The problem was the money coming in was not enough to cover what was going out. It was another decision between feeding the family or paying the bills. My plans to restructure didn’t seem to be working and the thought of coming home to more mess got to me. I felt like crying again but with the altitude, dehydration from the days trek and the constant lack of fluids in my body from the dam Diamox (see previous blog posts for explanation), I couldn’t even muster up a tear.

That night I went back into the mess tent with my “let’s have fun” mindset switched back on. A running joke through the first few days was about the doctor who would always be first in the food queue, almost appearing out of the steam off the food to get first dibs on what was going. That evening I had accidentally found myself on a chair close to the food table with the doc sitting next to me. After a few head nods and eyes looking in the docs way, I saw my chance to beat him to the food. As soon as he flinched I shot off and beat him to the table with huge cheers from my team mates, first scoop was mine! Although it was a ridiculous achievement in the big picture, my joy vanished in an instant. I loaded my plate up to refuel after a tough day with pasta, baked beans (you wouldn’t believe the joy on everyone’s faces when they saw the beans) and a meat that the porter described at “pork”. With the grin still on my face after the back slaps of beating the doc, I tucked in to find the pasta was spicy and the pork was in fact fish!!! My heart sunk and every tiny bit of positivity left my body. Somethings I can eat even though I don’t like it but fish and spice is something I can not do. Remembering back to Jays comment that hunger is the best sauce, no amount of sauce can make me eat that. Seriously, where did they get fish from on a frozen mountain a million miles away from the sea!

Having only a ladle of beans in me I couldn’t force anything else in. I put my plate back and left the mess tent. I was done. If I knew this was one of my last opportunity for a meal for the next 7 days I would have probably gone to the kitchen tent and asked for more beans (or worse, boiled egg!).

My mindset over the whole trip swung like the bollox of an old man in a hurricane (oh, by the way, I use humour to distract myself in awkward situations). As I said, I thoroughly enjoyed the entire experience but things would pop up and bring me back to reality, even if I was higher than cloud nine!. To say I was on a budget was an understatement. I’d planned everything in my head and if something like entry to a temple or the chance to get a beer with the team came up, I’d have to think about the implications of unplanned expenditures. I have never been in a financially secure position but I don’t let it effect me. If there is a chance of having a great experience, then I do it and work it out later, that wasn’t an option on this trip.

With the challenge completed, we returned back to Lhasa a day early, this meant more worries. Despite the huge costs involved in going we were told that due to our early departure from BC we would be billed for another nights hotel accommodation back in Lhasa. Luckily we were told that this would be payable on return in the UK or otherwise I may have been sleeping rough.

That last day in Lhasa was amazing. Unfortunately most of the team rebooked flights to return a day earlier (at £600 a flight I had no hope) leaving just 12 of the original 28. Relaxing in the cafe’s and bars of Lhasa I could switch off and enjoy this crazy world I had no idea existed before the start of the trip.

The return journey was planned to be 36hrs from Lhasa to London. Although I had the experience of a life time, I couldn’t wait to see Amelie, Ivy and Ernie (the dog). The last of the touring party (nicknamed the remainers) mucked in and supported each other all the way to the arrivals gate at Heathrow.

Not sure what to expect as I approached the door to the waiting family and friends, as soon as I saw my family I had tears in my eyes and did not know what to do. I have often been described as “awkward” in emotional situations but I knew just holding Amelie and Ivy was all I needed to do.

I knew I had lost weight prior to landing but almost every person who knew me before I left had a look of panic on their face before hugging me and asking if I was ok, or commenting on how much weight I’ve lost! In my mind it was a minor issue as I’d expected it but the concerned looks made me worry.

The following weeks and months up to today have been very mixed.

The business decisions (or fires I lit and run from) turned out to be correct. I am comfortable in my head where I am going even if the top is still a long way off. For the first few weeks the distraction of Everest was not there and I couldn’t hide from the problems which made me deal with them eventually. Seeing everyone adapting back to normal lives was tough as this was my biggest goal/distraction and now achieved, there was only normality left. Family aside, that sucked before!

I slowly started to get out of that mindset. Being slightly more stress free I felt a better father and husband and am getting better everyday. Plans that seemed so distant before are now a possibility even if they are still distant.

Since getting back my business has stabilised and during a naturally quiet time I took a part time job at Go Outdoors (I have since left as Rugby has built back up), a retail job selling equipment to people seeking enjoyment out in nature. Previously I had never worked in this sector but I enjoyed giving advice to customers who were going on their own outdoor adventure. It may not be Everest but a rucksack or a tent may be the item that gives that person the joy I felt on Everest.

The reason I wrote these three blogs came after I watched a few GoPro videos I made on Everest. I had not even thought about them until last Sunday when I gave the camera to Ivy to play with on a river walk. She’d forgotten all about it by the time I sat down and hooked the GoPro up to the iPad and I found the Everest footage.

I watched them alone as both Amelie and Ivy were doing other things and it quickly hit me how lonely I looked looking at myself. In the video, I felt like I was alone, there were people disappearing into the distance that I only caught up with as they waited for yaks to pass or for a break. In reality, I had people behind me who I was talking to and built, hopefully, lifelong friendships with.

The audio is crap on my GoPros and that didn’t help either. The wind and rustling of clothing would often drowned out conversation that I remember taking place, whether it was talking to Ollie about 7’s rugby, supporting those around me or admiring the views with Viv and Old John. In the video it didn’t happen, but thankfully in my mind it came back.

In just over a year I have got married, suffered in silence with a failing business that I have hopefully turned around, grown more aware of those around me and experienced a once in a life time trip that I have learned so much from.

I have emotions flying around inside of me as I type this but I know I am better for the experience. I am truly thankful for the people who have allowed me the time, patience and unknowing understanding to deal with it. It’s a huge weight off my chest typing this and I’ll probably take a few days to click publish on this blog as I contemplate the response but if I do share it then I hope this experience has helped me learn how to deal with the feedback.

Thank you to Amelie and Ivy, my family, my friends and everyone who supported me. I have not had contact with Phil since returning and have no idea how his son is and it annoys me daily that I have not made contact directly. Something that will change if/when I share this blog.

I hope you have enjoyed following my blog over the course of the challenge.

Diolch

Jon.

After setting the world record for the highest ever game of touch rugby, the following day was part one of our trek to ABC. It also meant the day several of our team mate had to leave the trip under doctors orders. With mixed emotions, we set off on what was to be a 8 hour trek over 8 miles of up hill rocky/icy terrain. It also meant we would go higher than we had previously at around 5900m. After a tough day we were again greeted by Sherpas and porters who fed us almost immediately on our arrival, this was a blessing as everyone was very tired and very cold. This was the first time we had trekked into the evening and we soon learned that when the sun goes down, you want to be in a heated tent or wearing every item of clothing you can carry!

If part one was tough, part two of the trek to ABC tested us further. Leaving Intermediate camp, we asked for our lunch that we got every day which normally consisted of a sandwich, boiled egg (I still struggle to eat one of these since our return), chocolate and a juice drink (the sugar in these would make Jamie Oliver pass out). On bringing this up we were told there was nothing and we would get something on the way from Sherpas from ABC meeting us half way, knowing we were roughly half way of the two leg trip, I had huge doubts that at least 4 hours fuelled only by breakfast would be enough. Having competed and coached in sport all my life, I put a lot of emphasis on nutrition and this was not the environment to challenge that belief.

Armed with just a pack of coconut biscuits and a Bounty bar (I can’t stand coconut but as Jay O’Malley told me “hunger is the best sauce”) we set off over 9 hours of the most amazing scenery I have ever seen. On arrival to ABC, everyone was at their limits. Unfortunately a few arguments broke out and in my mind, rightly so. We were told to go at our own pace for the last hour meaning everyone was scattered all over the mountain within minutes. By this time the sun had set and the temperature plummeted quicker than I’ve ever experienced. I was wearing everything I had and was beginning to shiver and when my group decided to stop to add layers, I made the tough decision to move on alone, worrying a stop would massively effect my ability to control my rapidly decreasing body temperature. The last half hour was a series of ridges to over come meaning you quickly lost sight of everyone in front and behind. Under the exhaustion of the day and deteriorating conditions it meant navigating be best path between ridges was tough, a wrong turn would only make a 5ish meter difference but having made a few wrong choices, the importance of making the correct decision became even more important and by the time I shivered into the heated mess tent at ABC my mind had gone.

On arrival, I was quick to find our Doctor (he had taken charge of the group as our expedition leader was taken ill) and told him of the struggles of the rear group who were left without guidance. When the final group arrived the same opinion was voiced, albeit with the use of a few stronger words!

Our attention was quickly turned as it became clear that two members of the team needed medical attention. As the mood calmed we commended each other on our achievements of the day and settled in to our very rocky based tents. Sharing a tent with fellow Welshman Huw, talking stopped quickly as we both passed out, exhausted from a tough two days.

Vowing to never complain about another uncomfortable bed we stumbled off to the mess tent for breakfast. The complaining quickly eased as the views of our new home were more spectacular than before. Day one was a pure rest day, absolutely no unnecessary moving. Cards, coffee and comradery was the order of the day. Unfortunately s the day went on I felt a little more unusual. While attempting to eat our evening meal, nausea crept in and the inevitable happened, I was sick!

In typical fashion, I tried to hide it but was found by a team mate who quickly informed the doctor. I was reassured that this was not altitude sickness and was probably a bug picked up from drinking dirty water. Not wanting to spread my germs, I retired to my tent with a anti nausea pill to ease the problem.

The next day was planned to send an advanced group across to the area identified as our pitch. I was desperate to be involved in this but I woke feeling worse than before having had a rough night sleep. I was very grateful for my tent mate who supported me through the night despite any inconvenience on him. I desperately tried to eat breakfast to prove my return to form, my mentality quickly changed from wanting to be part of the recce crew to how would I get back! As the team set off, I settled in to my sleeping bag determined to sleep off my illness. My sleep was broken by the movement of yaks outside my tent, I looked out the tent and a yaks head was a meter from my tent entrance startled by me rising. What followed was a tense face off any John Wayne film would have been proud of only this time it was a between a sickness riddled adventurer rapidly losing weight and a 500kg wild beast, there was only one winner. As I breathed a sigh of relief, a second yak stumbled on the ground behind which was a few feet higher than the tent. My immediate reaction was the yak as falling on to my head below but in reality it was probably a rock it dislodged that landed on the guy line but I wasn’t taking any chances and sat in front of the tent watching them walk by.

That evening, and with no sign of improvement in my health, attention turned to my involvement in the world record game the next day. At dinner everyone enquired about my condition and I tried to put a brave face on it but it was clear I was not good. The plan that I was banking on was to make a decision in the morning. Before retreating to bed that night the sickness came back to further my negativity. I was given stronger anti nausea medication, this time in the form of an injection.

Game day, luckily I slept well that night and woke feeling slightly better. The mood around camp was positive about the match and this helped lift my spirits. With some bread and a Dirolyte in me, and staying in me, I was confidently of playing some part in the game. Game day was not just about the game, firstly there was a matter of a 1 hour trek to the pitch and the construction of the pitch, posts and all. As part of the pitch assembly team at BC for the touch game, it was expected that I would be part of the team for this set up. Having stated I was prepared to assist, I was talked out of it by Rob, our “head grounds man” that they had it covered and I should concentrate my efforts of getting there and playing a part.

The one hour trek was more punishing that the trek to ABC a few days prior and sadly took its toll on big Jay who was clearly in a bad way and needed urgent medical treatment before being escorted back to ABC by the doctor to await transportation back to BC and on to hospital. The truth is, if that was anyone else then we may have had a fatality that day. It is testament to Jays mentality and strength (and the doctors expertise) that he survived.

With this on our minds, it was time to set the world record. World Cup winner Tamara Taylor blew the whistle to signal kick off for the worlds highest ever game of rugby. The 7 minute half seemed to fly by despite every breath burning the lungs, I managed a few tackles and attempted a turn over after one, forgetting I was on icy and fell on my arse! The game finished one try apiece and even though I had struggled the previous three days I played the entire match, growing in strength as the game went on before the final whistle sounded before I blew!

There was so much emotion at the final whistle from everyone, there were tears, hugs and high fives as the realisation of our achievement sunk in. My emotions were captured by a video I made at the end.

The next morning I felt worse than the day after I finished both a 12hr bike race and the marathon! However this day was not a good day to be struggling, what took us two days to climb to ABC, we were to trek the whole way back to BC in a day! Upon leaving my tent and carrying my big kit bag, I promptly fell over the guy line of my tent. Several words came out of my mouth that my mother would have not been pleased to hear. My mindset did not change for the rest of the day.

Fuelled by more bread, we were told again there was little in the way of food for our return journey. Again this did not sit well given what happened on the way up and now compiled with my new urge to eat again. At the breakfast briefing, we were told to take the trek at our own pace. This meaning we would very quickly be scattered all over the mountain. The only guarantee was our leader Carrie would stay with the back markers. We were still without our doctor who was somewhere between us and Kathmandu.

What followed was 10hrs of hell. With next to nothing to fuel me, I settled into a comfortable paced group with 4 others and they encouraged me all the way. During challenges, I like to motivate and encourage the group but this day I had nothing. The first hour was incredibly tough going back over those ridges that caused so many issues a few days before. Myself and New John (he joined the group after me so reluctantly accepted I was old Jon and he was new John) stopped for a short break after that hour and my body was shot. I had nothing and knew that. A longer rest was not an option like the 9 hours still to go. In small groups we all managed to make our way back to BC. By now it was 8pm and everyone was done, there was barely a drop of energy left in the big warm mess tent but we were all back.

I had lost over two stone in weight, my face was burnt and blistered from the conditions, I was physically in the worst state ever but I had made it back safely and the first phone call home that night was tearful but great to hear Amelie and Ivy’s voices again after the isolation of the 5 days at ABC.

The following morning we boarded the minibus (only two busses came to pick us up, we had lost a full minibus of people during the challenge). We thanked our Sherpas and posed for pictures while we presented them with gifts from the charity and ourselves and we set of on the bumpy road back to civilisation, every pot hole on the road shuddered through my body due to the “lack of padding” it was now missing.

With a bit of down time in Lhasa before our flights, it was time to relax and sample the nightlife having been “dry” through out the trip. Waking up on the floor of Tamara and Sams room on the last day meant the 36hrs of travel ahead was made more difficult as the altitude and beer inflicted hangover kicked in. This was the beginning of the end.

48hrs and thousands of miles later I was back home with a take away on order safe with my family and cuddles with my wife and child (and dog) were the best ever.